So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
