so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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