Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
