Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
i think i have two assholes
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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