I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
she told me i tasted like america
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
