you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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