i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
