Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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