wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
