Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
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