So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
