as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Is it penis luge time yet?
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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