thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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