He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Randomize