I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
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