she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
