i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
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She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
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well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
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