he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
