The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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