If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
worst night to have a conscience
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
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