No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
