5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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