Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
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