chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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