Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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