my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
MIDGETS
????
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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