I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I am available for nakedness
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
