This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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