Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
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