oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
My vagina is officially offended.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
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