I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
