I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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