It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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