There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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