i just had sex bonerless
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
