Just cropdusted the office
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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