she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
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