oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
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They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
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Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize