before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Randomize
