Are we in a gay sports bar?
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Randomize
