When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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