I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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