Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
