at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
time to smoke my breakfast
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
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