I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize