God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
