I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize