I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
