p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
