he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Randomize
