epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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