I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
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