I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
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