Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
if i can run in heels then i can drive
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
