that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
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