We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
