what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Randomize
