Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I need to calm my uterus...
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Randomize
