Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
where does the pee come out of this thing
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
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