Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
