I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
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I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
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spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
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