i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
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