her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
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I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
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Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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