Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Randomize
