your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Dating After Heartbreak
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
These Images Prove Chrissy Teigen is the Funniest Model Alive
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again