my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
These 27 People Had No Idea What They Were Doing When It Came To Sex
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.