porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
27 Parents Confess Shocking Secrets Their Kids Don’t Know
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day